#60 You Don't Have To Cheer Me Up

October 30, 2024

Have you ever been in a mood or had feeling that you just couldn't pinpoint? Is your tendency to rush through them or distract yourself? You might be better off sitting with them for a bit.

Do you feel a little stuck? Or need help sorting through an emotional time? Grab a time on my schedule to chat. I promise I won't try to cheer you up. Absolutely free!

Disclaimer: Information provided in this blog/podcast is for informational purposes only. This information is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of your physician or other healthcare professional. Do not use the information provided in this blog/podcast for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing medication or other treatment. Always speak with your physician or other healthcare professional before taking any medication or nutritional, herbal or other supplement, or using any treatment for a health problem. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, contact your health care provider promptly. New Cycle by yoitrax | https://soundcloud.com/yoitrax Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

Episode Transcript

Hello and

welcome

to the Own

Your Health

Podcast,

I'm Cyndi Lynne,

and I can't

wait to help

you step into

your health

power.

Today we're

talking

about feelings

and

spending time in

them.

And like many

of my episodes,

the reason that

I'm talking

about

this today is

because it's

what

I've seen and

heard in my

practice lately.

There's a huge

trend in an

effort, I think,

to fight the

mental illness

struggles

that many people

are having. To

cheer people up,

to help them

feel good, to

make sure that

they're happy.

And while that's

honorable. In

many

ways, I find

that it really

doesn't serve us

that well when

we have feelings

that we really

want to process

and need to

process.

And as always,

when I hear

something from a

couple of

clients

in one week,

I figure it's

time to talk

about it.

So, first client

came in feeling

kind of low

and stated that

said, you know,

I've just been

having a rough

week, feeling a

little bit.

Feeling a little

bit down, not

really sure why,

you know?

So I questioned

a little bit,

as I do

with clients

that

I've had for

some time,

there's

something going

on. Does it feel

like work?

Does it feel

like change of

seasons?

What does it

just,

you know what?

I just - I don't

know. It just kind

of feels heavy

in my life

right now.

And I didn't

try to change

that.

I said, let's

sit with that.

Let's see where

it's showing up

in your body,

that heaviness

that sense that

something is

just kind of not

right.

And she said

to me, you

know what?

You're the first

person I've

talked

to this week.

She said, and

I've been

struggling

with this, and

I've talked to

a number of

people, and

you're the first

person

who hasn't tried

to fix it,

who hasn't tried

to cheer me

up, who hasn't

offered suggestions

that

I get out

and move or

go exercise or

get together

with

friends or pour

a glass of wine.

And she said,

I really

appreciate

that because I

feel like I

can spend the

next hour that

we are together

just kind of

exploring those

feelings.

And I think

it's human

nature.

We want to help.

Especially those

us in the

helping industry.

want to help.

We want to

make it better.

There's also

this

kind of push

that we want

to fix things,

and especially

when

it's somebody

that

we care about.

But I want

to talk today

about spending

time

sitting with

your feelings.

And this is

a little bit

different than

it's kind of

wallowing.

Although a

little

wallowing probably

never

hurt anybody.

We aren't

talking

about week

of depression.

We're talking

about

emotions, transient

emotions

that come

through

and really the

need as human

beings to feel

all of them.

And I can

say, and you

would probably

agree,

that there's

days we feel

happier,

there's days we

feel kind of

down.

There's days you

feel like you

just don't

really

know what's

going on.

If you've ever

woken up with

a mood and

you're not sure

where that mood

came from.

And we usually

notice this when

it's a less

than fun mood.

And it's okay

to sit with

that.

It's okay to

try and figure

it out if

you want, or

just feel that.

We can't expect.

And it's not

human nature

that

we're happy all

of the time,

just like we

wouldn't expect

that

we're sad all

of the time.

And all of

the other

emotions

that we feel.

And in our

rushed world,

we're

always ready to

get on to

the next thing.

And often when

people share

these

feelings, someone

wants

to step in.

Let me cheer

you up. Let

me take you out.

Let's go have

lunch. Let's...

And it's more

about the doing

in order to

change your

feeling.

And it's fine

if you want

to change that

feeling.

But if you

really want to

figure out

what's going on,

you're

going to need

to sit with

it for a

little while.

And that's not

always

comfortable.

But once you

do it, once

you find that

place and you

realize that,

okay, this is -

this is just

a feeling,

I can have

thoughts about

the feeling.

Some of the

thoughts I have

will be true.

Some of them

might not be

true. I can try

on different

thoughts

about this

feeling.

And that's often

what I recommend

to people when

they say, I

really,

I want to

figure out why

I'm just kind

of in the

dumps lately.

And I'll say,

try on some

different

feelings.

Try on some

different thoughts

about

that feeling.

So you would

try on.

And it helps

to actually

verbalize

or to write

in your journal.

I'm really

feeling

down because

work isn't going

well. No, that

doesn't

really feel

right.

I'm really

feeling

down because

it's changing to

fall.

I miss summer.

Okay, the

statement's

true, but it

doesn't.

It doesn't

elicit that deep

feeling in me.

Okay.

For me, this

week it was,

I'm really

feeling

kind of down

because I'm

thinking

about my dad

a lot. And

we're still

going through.

It's only been

a few months,

we're still

going

through all the

firsts.

And fall was

one of his

favorite times

of the year.

And it's when

I would

typically

get to see him.

And so I'm

noticing that

absence

in patterns that

we normally

would have.

And when I

say that, it

rings very true.

And I can

feel that within

me.

And then based

on what I

learned to be

true about my

feelings, I can

make a decision.

If it's

something

that I want

to pass through,

if it's

something

that I want

to move on

from immediately,

I can change my

behavior, I can

engage with

something

else, I can

start another

activity.

Or if it's

something that I

want to

acknowledge

and realize

that,

hey, this is -

yeah, this is

going to be

a whole year

of firsts that

we go through.

And I want

to acknowledge

it and I want

to think about

some of those

things and I

want to

experience

the good

memories

about those

things.

And I don't

intend to stay

sad.

I don't intend

to stay stuck

in these

emotions,

but I do

intend to spend

some time with

them without

fear and without

shame

and especially

without

any outside

sense

of what feelings

or emotions I

should be having

at this time

about this

topic.

So I welcome

you to do

the same in

your life.

When you wake

up in a

mood or when

your day goes

a certain way

and you really

maybe disappointed,

you want to

take some time,

figure out why,

it's not about

blame, it's just

understanding why

I feeling this

way?

And then are

there things I

want to process?

Are there things

that I want

to work through?

Or is this

something I just

want to put

behind me?

Because it's

always a choice.

How you feel

is always a

choice.

And you want to

make that choice

from a very

informed place.

So, you may

find times when

there's people

around

you and you

want to say

to them, no

need to cheer

me up.

I'm exactly

where I want to

be doing the

work that I

want to be

right now.

And if you

want some

cheering,

I'm always open

to a good

joke as well.

So if you

want help

sorting

out, if you

have a mood

or a feeling

or something

that's

been lingering

and you want to

talk it through,

jump on a

call with me

absolutely free

and we'll talk

about

it and talk

about your

decisions

on whether you

want to move

through it,

leave

it behind, or

if there's

something

that needs to

be processed.

Until next week,

let's go out

and own it.

#60 You Don't Have To Cheer Me Up

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