Hello and welcome to The Own Your Health Podcast,
I'm Cyndi Lynne, and I can't wait to
help you step into your health power.
So we're talking about health,
how did we get to funerals?
I have had several instances in my personal life
over the last couple of weeks of deaths with
family and friends, as well as clients who facing
their own challenges, health challenges, and attending funerals.
So I thought we'd talk about it here. Break it down.
What do funerals do?
What do they mean?
Why do we have them?
Do I have to go?
Do I want to go?
And all of questions come up.
And it's kind of interesting because many times there's
an obligation, a feeling of I really have to.
Other times there's a desire to go, but not
really sure how, you know, how we want to
approach it or how we feel about it.
And this is especially true for my
clients who are dealing with chronic illnesses,
who are dealing with acute new diagnoses.
Sometimes funerals can just be a reminder that
death is inevitable for all of us.
So out there talking about
it, that's what's most important.
And today we're going to talk about three ways
that you can make a funeral of family or
friends, really anyone, more meaningful for you.
And that's what owning our health is about, is
finding meaning in the things that we participate in,
meaning in the things that we choose.
So first of all, I'd say only attend a funeral
or parts of a funeral if you really want to.
So I talked about obligation, but don't let
that obligation dictate what you have to do.
And very often people are comfortable with one part,
with the visitation, with seeing family and friends, and
maybe they're not comfortable with the service.
Other people are more than happy to go to the service.
More than happy is probably an odd way to
say it, but will attend the service, go to
the church or chapel or wherever the service is
not as comfortable mixing during the presentation.
So you get to choose which parts you attend,
and if you attend. And I want you to think
about it and have intention and understand why you're making
these choices, and then be content with it afterwards, because
that is one of the biggest challenges you have seen,
like a funeral that's only going to happen once.
And I purposefully keeping this a
little bit on the later side.
So I certainly don't mean to be irreverent about
any of it, but you don't want to have
regrets about not attending or not showing your support.
But there are also other ways.
So if you aren't comfortable with funerals.
If you aren't comfortable in your life where you
are now, attending a service like that, you could
certainly decide to write a letter to the family
member who's greiving. Or send a really thoughtful card
and message. Or reach out afterwards.
You know, that's another thing that after funerals,
after the funeral comes and goes, loved ones
are kind of left moving on with their
life and moving through their lives.
And so even if you aren't comfortable with attending
the funeral, maybe meeting them for coffee or for
lunch a week or two out would be something,
a way that you could show your support.
So again, first, attend only the parts or
the funeral that you really, really want to.
Two, decide what meaning this is going to have for you.
Is this extremely sad time when you want
to go and not really speak with people
and just be with your own thoughts?
Is this going to be a celebration of life?
Is this going to be more about
connecting with those family members and friends
that you haven't seen for a while?
Because really, funerals are for the living.
That's, you know, the person who is passed does not
know all of the tendencies and messages and outpouring.
The funeral is really for the living.
And so is this an opportunity for you to reconnect
with people that you haven't seen for a while?
Unfortunately, we have family members that we
typically only see kind of weddings and
funerals because we're scattered around the country.
And that can be,
that can be something that's very meaningful for
you and an intention for something that you
can get out of this situation.
Something that you can have to remember in a way
that you can celebrate in a way that you can
honor the person who's passed is by that reconnection.
The third thing to think about is how
this all relates to your own life.
And this is really the crux of it.
And where the, the owning your health part comes in.
Because if you're having trouble thinking about attending
a funeral, if you're having trouble thinking about
dealing with death in any way right now,
what's going on in your life?
Have you had experiences in the past with funerals?
Have you had personal experiences feeling that
death is a little bit too close?
What is it that, that brought you to your purposes
in the first two questions that I asked, or the
first two ways that I offered up for a funeral
or memorial service to be really health inspiring for you?
What are your feelings around it?
What are you faced with when you say,
okay, death is inevitable for all of us?
That makes life all the more valuable, it makes
the experiences I have, the way I choose to
live, the way I choose to care for myself.
Look at that experience.
One of how you looked at the
first two measures that we talked about.
And then after it's done, think about how the
event impacted you, how perhaps do things differently, the
pieces of it that you really liked or really
admired, the way that the family supported each other,
the way that people came together, or members who
choose not to show up.
And do you know that they have something
going on in their life that maybe you
want to reach out to them separately?
Who did you connect with?
Perhaps you want to keep a little bit tighter
connection going in the future and not wait till
the next wedding or the next funeral.
All these little things, it sounds a
bit trite to say, lessons learned.
But these points in life, these big milestones, if you will,
provide us with so many opportunities to evaluate how we're living.
Is it the way we want to be living?
And ultimately, how we support those
around us, how we interact with
family members, how we mature relationships?
Because all of these have a
very significant impact on our health.
So I wanted to trace on this.
It is an odd one.
It'll be interesting to see how many,
you know, how many people it actually
attracts, but it's an important one.
And when things come up in my life and
in my client's life and kind of all come
together, I know that it's time for a message.
So if this is something that hit home
with you, if you too have had recent
experiences like this, feel free to reach out.
Also, share with anyone that you think really needs to
hear this or really struggles with trying to decide
how they can handle going to funerals.
And if you like some personal help with that,
there's a link down below in the show notes.
Reach out and we can talk.
So until next week, let's go out and own it.
Bye.
