Welcome to The Own Your Health podcast.
I'm Cyndi Lynne and I can't wait to
help you step into your health power.
Now, I've been talking a lot lately about how to
own your health and why you even want to.
And the last episode I shared a
story that clearly demonstrates what can happen
when you don't own your health.
I call it how to become
a victim of the healthcare system.
And it's the story of a client of
mine who I call Sarah and her traumatic
experience of being diagnosed with breast cancer.
Notice I didn't say the trauma of breast cancer, but
rather the experience of her mammogram and breast biopsy.
So if you missed it, there's a
link in the show notes below.
But beyond her bad experience, I share how
Sarah was embarrassed for quite a long time
and she was embarrassed by her responses.
And when she looked back at the whole situation,
I remember her saying, I didn't even recognize myself.
That's not how I do things.
And for some time, she blamed
herself for handling things so poorly.
And really, the last thing anyone needs on
top of a cancer diagnosis is more blame.
So let's dig into some of these thoughts
and feelings, much in the same way that
Sarah and I did during our sessions.
Sarah's biggest regret, and the thing that she
kept telling herself, questioning over and over again,
was, why didn't I stop it?
And after we talked about it, it became clear.
It all just happened so fast, one room to the next,
and thinking she was going to be late and trying to
hurry and all of these kind of feelings that we talked
about last week, it didn't occur to her to just stop.
And after it's all over, it's easy to think,
yeah, why didn't she just stop everything, make a
phone call, have her husband get the kids?
And she remembers thinking, I wasn't
alone for even a moment.
I had no time to think! And I
didn't know exactly what was happening myself.
So what exactly was I going to tell my husband?
And even if I called him to pick up the kids, what
if I just started crying on the phone and fell apart?
Now, from where we're all sitting right now, most of
us, in the safety of whatever situation we're in, it's
easy to think, yeah, why didn't she stop it?
Why didn't she get a second opinion?
Why didn't she get an ultrasound?
Why didn't she ask for another radiologist?
And what about informed consent?
Well, yes, Sarah signed a consent form and
both Sarah and I agree there was nothing
irregular about what the hospital did, about what
the clinic did in this situation.
She agrees that it was probably all very much in
order, but it really wasn't working for her, and it
doesn't work for so many women that I talk to.
So Sarah signed a consent form, but
she barely remembers reading it, and the
hospital staff was standing over her waiting.
She said it was all so automatic,
like it was a normal thing.
And for the people working in the
hospital, it is a normal thing.
This is what they do all day long.
Sometimes they forget that for the patient coming
into the clinic, it's not normal at all.
It's just overwhelming.
And Sarah didn't remember any discussions about risks.
Maybe someone said something about
it, but I don't remember - she said.
It was so overwhelming.
Now, at this point in the story, and this
is a story that I share, often when I
speak, I get a lot of different responses.
I see people in the front row going, I've been
there and others shaking their heads, saying, oh, how awful.
And I've had people come up to me afterwards
and say, the same thing happened to my sister.
I've also had other people say, well, it's just a
biopsy - they're routine. Or, why didn't she just get her
clothes and go home, make an appointment for another day?
And then inevitably, I get the woman who comes to
me and says, I would never let that happen.
And that's the response that interests me the most,
because it's usually from someone who's a take charge,
run the show kind of a person, someone who's
assertive and in control of their surroundings.
And I can tell that just from our exchange.
But here's the thing.
Sarah is an executive with a large corporation.
She's assertive and decisive and definitely in
charge, except when it came to her
health. Especially when hearing such shocking news.
And I actually see this often. This gap
between how women live their professional lives and
how they manage their health care.
Excuse me! But what if Sarah had done her
mammogram appointment as her usual professional, assertive self?
Working together, we reviewed what we could,
what all of this could have looked
like, and we called it Sarah's redo.
So, first of all, and this is something that is
good advice for a lot of people, probably. She would
have booked the appointment earlier in the day, and that's
something we try to figure out how long we can
stay at work and then make that appointment and then
do whatever we have to do next.
She would have made the appointment earlier in the
day and automatically made arrangements for someone else to
pick up the kids from school so that she
didn't even have to think about a timeline after
what she was doing, she could just kind of
be in the moment, process what was going on.
Second, when she got the first news, she would have
probably made an appointment to come back at a different
time for the biopsy so that she would have time
to think and plan. Two of her professional strong suits.
Third, she would have done some research into
the risks and benefits of breast biopsies.
As someone had commented earlier, biopsies may have
become routine, but they're not without risk.
So besides the pain and infection and swelling
at the site, puncturing a tumor provides an
opportunity for the contents of that tumor to
spread to other areas of the body.
And in fact, even the compression of mammograms
has become controversial for the same reason.
And routine use for screening has been reduced
and even eliminated in many countries.
Now fourth, she would have taken the time, she would
have had the time to talk with her husband,
her biggest fan, her biggest supporter, and just having
that comfort would have been huge for her through
the rest of the entire process.
Fifth, she would have gone to any
further appointments with a close friend.
And this is something that I actually always recommend.
She could take someone who could listen
and who could remember things that Sarah
may miss while she's being stressed.
So even though she's a super smart lady who juggles
a ton of information every day, when you're dealing with
a health crisis or a health scare, it becomes very
difficult to listen and to process information.
She would have also researched other non
invasive options before having a biopsy.
Biopsies have become so routine, people sometimes
forget it is an invasive procedure.
Now, Sarah and I went through this exercise not
to play woulda, coulda, shoulda, but to help her
realize that she had choices, so that she recognizes
when she has choices in the future.
And she recognized that she can apply all of her
professional skill to this type of experience and keep that
sense of control that's so important to her.
Sarah could still be Sarah, even in a health scare.
And just to let you know, Sarah is thrilled that
I can bring her story to other women so that
they can learn and prepare for those unexpected situations so
they don't become a victim of the health care system.
Now, have you been thinking about what you would
have done in this situation, or what you hope
you would have done, or maybe you've been through
this. Did it go as you would have liked,
or how would you have liked to handle it
maybe differently if you think about it afterwards?
Now this is no judgment.
This isn't about making you feel bad.
It's learning and it's self compassion for
doing the best we can in any moment.
I would love to hear about your experiences,
the good, the bad, even the ugly.
I've had a few of those.
You can reach me at [email protected] and until next
week, let's go out there and own it.
