Remember the expression “be careful what you wish for”?  Well, it may be just as important how you wish for things.  As “wishers” and dreamers, most of us tend to be a bit cautious.  We all have our own beliefs or stories around what and how much it is appropriate to request, even from an infinite universe.  So when we make our wishes we tend to be a bit skimpy on the details and circumstances around what we want.  Well, I’m here to officially give you permission to be highly specific and extremely detailed in your wishes and dreams. And, I’ll tell you why it’s critical to do so.

You’ve probably also heard the expression “Wishing doesn’t make it so”.   It takes our actions in response to those wishes to make something happen. And, vague dreams create vague, if any, actions.  This is one of the truths that may have shaped our early perception of how ineffective we were as manifestors and relegated us to the role of dreamers or wishers.  The more detail and specificity, the more direct actions we can derive from the wish.  The more action, the greater chance of bringing the wish to fruition; of manifesting what we desire.

I learned this lesson the hard way.  In a nutshell, I sold my soul to the devil for a four-day work week.

For years, in all of my wishing and hoping and journaling, I focused exclusively on being able to work only four days a week.  I knew I had to maintain my income, so that aspect got an occasional passing nod, but I neglected to define or plan any other aspects around that wish.  And the universe delivered.  I got a well-paying job, working four days a week.

Great, right, but wait, the commute was longer than I had expected, my department was severely understaffed and the company lacked fundamental systems to complete the work necessary to be successful.  With the exception of the commute (There were several facilities and my office location changed after I accepted the position.)  all of the other aspects existed prior to my joining the company.  I didn’t inquire, or research adequately.  I was blinded by getting the offer I had wished for and accepted it.  A job offer may seem like something that is a bit out of our control, but, had I better defined my wish, it would have directed job searches in different areas of the industry and geography.  The experience provided a very valuable lesson.  And when I made my next move, it was with much more clarity and I couldn’t be happier.

There is probably only one way of wishing that is more troublesome than vague wishing. Its a kind of backwards wishing.

Out of hesitancy to wish for what we really want, we sometimes feel more comfortable wishing that what we don’t want doesn’t happen.  A little convoluted?  Yes, but here are some examples:  “I hope it doesn’t rain on my wedding day”, I wish I wouldn’t always get sick when I go on vacation”, “Just once, I dream of having a Christmas where everyone doesn’t argue”.  Some variation of these themes probably sound familiar, because they are pretty typical.  And I frequently hear comments like these from my clients.

It’s not just a matter of positive vs negative thinking, although that is certainly a factor.  More so, its about the actions that each of these statement will drive.  If you want sun for your wedding day, hope for sun… and then plan a time and location that will give you the greatest chances of getting what you want.

If you focus on not being sick on vacation, you may just end up packing lots of medical supplies to take along in case you get sick.  If you dream of being super healthy on your next vacation, you are more likely to plan so that you get enough sleep in the days leading up to vacation or you may pack healthy meals for the flights or take meal bars along if you will be in some areas where the food is questionable.

If you focus on trying to avoid having family arguments ruin Christmas, your tension may just provoke some of the behaviors you are trying to avoid.  If your desires and focus was shifted to having everyone enjoy their time together, you may plan events with several smaller groups or activities that direct questions away from hot topics.  With a focus on a positive experience, you may even take a proactive approach and call or write to family members expressing your (positively framed) wish, asking that they leave history or politics at home and come together to enjoy the season.

Your truest, deepest desires will drive attitudes and actions in alignment with those desires. So, make a wish today, a big, strong, detailed wish, in full technicolor and then go out and get it.

Would you like some help reframing some of the experiences in your life?  I’d love to chat, contact me here.